Good things come to those who wait. For the most part this is true, unless you happen to be waiting to pull the ripcord of your parachute as you drunkenly descend from an ill-advised skydiving session. Also, waiting to spit out a live wasp if one should happen to fly into your mouth whilst riding down the hill in your little red wagon. This too is a bad time to wait. Ultimately, the worst time to wait would be after reading my review on shawarma poutine and failing to “git you sum”, post-haste.
When I mention shawarma poutine to anyone, be they friends, family, classmates or otherwise, there are only ever two reactions which I have received: “OH MY GOD YES!” or “Wait what?”. Even my vegetarian/vegan friends tend to yield positive reactions at the mention of this greasy abomination. The fact is, this colossal culinary creation only seems to produce positive, albeit confused reactions. A high-speed collision of Arabic and French-Canadian food culture is certainly out of the ordinary, but will soon make its way into your hearts and minds (and arteries) as a new fast food favorite.
Created at some unspecified time, presumably somewhere in the deepest, darkest canola oil soaked pits of a Torontonian dive bar, shawarma poutine has captured the attention of Canada in recent years. As a resident of Kitchener, Ontario, my earliest memory of the food came about when it jumped out from a local shawarma joint’s menu. The fact that it combine what was, at the time, my two favorite foods of all time already put the food off to a good start in my eyes. My absolute enthusiasm on the matter convinced my friend Heff to also partake in the purchase of this unholy heart-stopper, so with cheap plastic forks at the ready, we tore into our food with all the decorum of a rabid mongoose at a cobra convention.
Important Details
The Taste
Oh hot damn, the taste. Similarly to most Canucks, I’m used to enjoying those soft, gooey mozzarella curds, steaming beef gravy and crispy fries with nothing else to challenge the holy trinity we know and love. But then, like getting t-boned by an ice-cream truck driver who, after his diagnosis of lactose intolerance and truly has nothing else to live for (we all know the feeling), the garlic sauce, fresh onions and grease-laden chicken hit the tip of my tongue. I may or may not have had time slow down on me for a few seconds. Heff, being the great friend he is, ignored me completely and continued setting a land-speed record for poutine consumption.
The Smell
A couple years ago, I got a wee bit of pneumonia and my sense of smell decided that it had been chilling in my body long enough. So, after getting in a very long and messy argument with my nose and kicking my tongue in its little tongue face, my sense of smell all but flew the coop. TL;DR- Smelling things is a challenge for me. That being said, the spice and grease combo of the shawarma poutine had no problems permeating my damaged nostrils, hugging the inside with an almost familiar scent. I was smitten.
The Look
(See Featured Image)…but with steam, and another fella with half of his already all around his mouth.
The Moral of This Review
Hell yes, this the absolute best. Real talk though, since discovering this gastric masterpiece, it has rocketed up the ladder of my go-to options when I have a hankering for that good grease, placing just ahead of tacos. You know you gotta try this stuff if it’s taco-beating levels of tasty.
Fast Food, Slow Cars 